How To Handle Family Conflicts While Wedding Planning
I tell my brides and grooms that I have a master's degree in dealing with family drama. You name it and I have experienced it in my own personal life and also while planning weddings for the last ten years.
Weddings bring out the best and the worst in all of us. So what do you do when you have difficult family relationships that are flaring up during the wedding planning and wedding day?
I have put together a list of how I help my couples walk through difficult family conflicts while planning their wedding day.
1 - Establish Your Boundaries
Make a list and check it twice. Know your limit and set expectations. It is not your job to manage other people's emotions. Decide in advance what you will do and how you will react when drama happens. It is good to sit down and really be aware of the reality of your family relations. Think objectively about what the situation is honestly like with your family and what is most likely to happen. Decide how much you will handle and draw your line in the sand of what you will not tolerate. Set your boundaries and stick to them — no matter what.
2 - Move On
I think that often family drama can drain the bride of her joy on her wedding day. She is so worried about someone blowing up, mean words spoken, or even of disappointing others that the joy that should overwhelm her on the wedding day is sucked out and left with anxiety.
It is YOUR wedding day. You will not please everyone, and if someone is upset, it doesn't really matter. What matters is that you and your partner get married and have a magical day. Make the decisions your want for your day and move on. Enjoy your wedding day to the fullest.
Know how far you will go to accommodate people, and then move on.
3 - Delegate
The family woes can really feel like a huge deal on the wedding day. It can be very overwhelming to brides and grooms to manage. However, that is why you hire a wedding planner! I always tell my couples, if something happens on the wedding day and a family member is upset by a choice you have made, send them to ME, even blame me for the decision that you made, and I will handle it. There have been so many wedding days that I have been able to protect the bride and groom from the crazy that happens behind the scenes— and that is my favorite thing. The couple and the planner become a unified team. We are all aware of the drama that is brewing, and we can work together to make sure the bride and groom are shielded while the planner does what she is there to do — manage the drama.
Leading up to your wedding and your wedding day can be an emotional time. There are so many expectations, hopes, dreams, and emotions that surround everyone's weddings. Remember what is important, that this is your wedding, not their's. The memories that you make for your wedding belong to you. You don't want to look back and only remember the drama.
If there is family conflict that feels overwhelming to you while planning your wedding, I am so sorry. But I promise, you can still have the most perfect and precious wedding.
There was crazy family drama that surrounded my wedding day. So much drama that most of them refused to even come to my wedding! I could honestly write a book about it. However, I set clear boundaries, dealt with the drama, made my decisions, and moved on. My wedding day was perfect and so magical. When it comes to family conflicts around your wedding, accept it, set boundaries, move on from the drama, and delegate problems.